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Traci--The Sex They Slipped Into Your Coffee...
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| Hide and Seek |
[Nov. 15th, 2005|01:21 am] |
So I haven't updated in like a year. Probably because everything in my life is going really well right now. Usually when everything is going really well I can always manage to find something to be unhappy about. ALWAYS. I've finally figured out how to accept me for myself. Most of the time.
I love being a journalism major. I love to write. Probably why I still have a livejournal and I'm a junior in college. (heck yes I'm a junior already!) I have A's in all my classes. And I don't know how I do it, and I stress my self out constantly, but I always end up doing really well. I got a job writing for a local Gainesville magazine (INsite! u should buy it!) and I'm so excited to get experience. I want to move to the city and be an Express, Starbucks, Cosmo, pointy heels type with really good highlights and a cell phone attached 24/7. I want to live in a loft. I want to have an advice column in a really good magazine someday.
I love my job right now. I work at the Gainesville Aston Gardens. There are actually old people here! I love them. I get paid really well and I've made really good friends. I feel like I know so many more people this year and every time I go out I see someone new. UF is a million times better this year. Gainesville seems so much smaller. I've only left one weekend to go home. I'm happy that I'm happy here, but I do miss my best friends still. I want to make more road trips. Those are the best.
I love living with Tessa. We get along really well. I think we're a lot alike. And at the same time not alike. We do everything together and it's like we're family. Our house is awesome and the neighbors are fun. =)
Boys are boys. I'm really over the whole hooking up thing. I can see when you are single and want to just randomly have fun, but its not so fun after awhile. I still haven't met any really good guy friends up here. And how do u know if someone should just be a good guy friend, or more? And how do you have a serious boyfriend in college when there's so many boys?? I really want that. I'm ready for a boyfriend again, I think. Well I at least know what I don't want. I don't want anymore assholes who want to use you. I had enough of that this summer thank you very much.
I've come to the realization that I'm a sloppy drunk. It's never going to change. I don't like to have one or two drinks and mellow out. I like to get shit faced and be loud and get sick. But it's ok. It's not a life-long thing. It's a weekend (and sometimes Thursday) thing. And I'm in college. And when it effects me negatively I learn from it and remember it as "that one night i really regret" or "that one night i really don't remember." And my real friends have accepted it and expect it. And they laugh at me when I make an ass out of myself and tell the 7-11 lady Jude Law makes me orgasm. Or they laugh at me the next day when I can't move and can only watch lifetime and drink gallons of water. Or they try and remind me who I made out with or called wasted. But it's me.
I miss my family a lot. I've become a lot more distant with them this year because I don't need them as much. I'm going to be 20 in a month. You get married in your 20's. You have kids in you 20's. I've realized I'm never living with my parents and sister again, and whatever I want to do, I can. It's kind of scary knowing that I will never live with them again.
Sorry for this randomly long post. This is more for me than for anyone to read, no one even reads these anymore. But I'm happy. And I'm over the fact that I'm not going to be a size 2. I'm over the fact that me and Alex may never be able to have a normal friendship again. I'm over the fact that Naples isn't my home anymore. I don't have any money but I've learned to deal with it. I think I've learned how to be a better person a little bit. Just a little.
That's it. I'm done. For another couple months. Hope everythings good with you! |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 18th, 2005|07:39 pm] |
| [ | Mood |
| |  crappy | ] |
| [ | Tunes |
| | Crossfade | ] |
I hate fun weekends. They are such a break from reality. They make you forget all the bullshit and have fun for 48 hours.
This is why I hate Sundays. Sundays are almost worse then Mondays because you get to dread the whole week ahead of you and think of everything you need to get done.
Jenna and Kristin came up this weekend and it reminded me of all the crazy shit that happened this summer. Back when I didn't have to be anywhere except work and I did whatever I wanted without caring. I never thought I could make such good friends in such a short time, but I did.
I haven't missed home in awhile but after this past week I do. I miss my sister and my dad. I miss our family. I miss beautiful Naples.
I can't concentrate on anything. Everything is getting so stressful and I used to care and pull through when shit happened but this time I feel like it's not even worth it. Especially with classes. I don't want to go to college anymore. I don't like my major, but I can't switch now, or think of anything better.
I have so many people to talk to, and I know it. But I still feel like I'm alone. |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 15th, 2005|04:52 pm] |
That's it. I officially suck at life.
I can't save money. I can't understand school. I can't pick the rite guys. I can't make good decisions.
Fuck me. |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 8th, 2005|02:58 pm] |
| [ | Tunes |
| | Graham Colton Band | ] |
I got a kitten! Her name is Kaci.
and it's realllly weird because I've always hated cats.
and I can barely take care of myself.
But she's really cute!
=) |
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| There's Gotta Be Something More... |
[Aug. 25th, 2005|04:00 pm] |
| [ | Mood |
| |  weird | ] |
| [ | Tunes |
| | Sister Hazel | ] |
I've changed every class I was registered for. I have NO CLUE what I want to do. What I want to be. I just want to be happy. I want to have money. I want to have a job I like with people I like.
I feel like there's so many people here this year. Everywhere I go I run into to someone from Naples. It's weird.
I've been applying for jobs because I'm poor. I'm not sure if I want to work though.
Nothing else is new really. Coming back from summer, everything changed in literally a day. My lazy routine of working and drinking ended abruptly. Now I have to be responsible and get shit done. It makes me wonder why I even go to school. I had a fun summer making money, and here all I do is spend it. But then I guess I'd be making a server salary my whole life.
I talked to Alex for awhile last nite. He's changed so much. Or maybe I have. Or maybe both of us. It was a weird/good conversation. |
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| Leaving On a Jet Plane. |
[Aug. 14th, 2005|07:07 pm] |
| [ | Mood |
| | weird | ] |
| [ | Tunes |
| | Coldplay | ] |
Tomorrow I leave for my sophomore year of college. And I STILL have an lj. And I don't mind it at all. I was reading my senior year entries and laughed at myself about 100 times.
Things change so much. What I was worried about then, like prom table arrangements, is nothing like what I'm worried about now, like what I'm going to do with my life or moving into an apartment.
I am absolutely SO excited about going back. This year is going to kick ass.
This summer was so lame and so fun at the same time.
I didn't do anything productive. My parents moved AGAIN to Marco Island, so I will no longer be coming "home" to Naples. I spent the whole summer at work, or with people from work. Sometimes it was fun. Sometimes it really wasn't. Sometimes I really regret what I did. Sometimes I didn't. Some things will just be a memory of that one time. I wish I saw Gina, Jamie and CeCe more. I wish I saw people that I never get to see like Brittany, Erin and my sister. I wish I went on a road trip or spent more time with my parents. I wish Harley didn't die. I wish the summer wouldn't end sometimes because I could keep doing whatever I wanted and not being responsible for myself. Sometimes I wish the summer ended sooner.
I am sooooo completely lost right now, but in a good way. I know exactly who I am for like the first time ever. I just don't think everyone else likes who I am all the time.
A- I wish I called you back so I wouldn't feel so guilty about leaving with things "unresolved" and weird. I wish I could call and talk to you like we used to, and be good friends. I wish you felt comfortable calling me. I guess that could never happen tho.
B- Funniest nite of my life EVER. Something to laugh about now.
J- I never even saw you. And for the first time it didn't bother me. But I'd still want to. And I'd probly want to 10 years from now.
P- Exactly what I needed and didn't need all at the same time. It was fun.
Back to UF!!! |
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| My hopes are so high that your kiss might kill me. |
[Aug. 6th, 2005|03:03 pm] |
| [ | Mood |
| |  crazy | ] |
| [ | Tunes |
| | Dashboard | ] |
Courtney left yesterday. We're all leaving again to go back. I feel like I just got home. This was the weirdest summer of my life. Weirder then last summer at UF. So much weird shit happened. Italy was amazing. In some ways I wish I was still there and I didn't own a cell phone and I just did whatever whenever. I don't have an incredibly strong friendship with anyone anymore. I still have really good friends, but I feel completely out of touch in Naples. I leave a week from today so I can rush. I never thought I was the "sorority type" and maybe I'm not. We'll see. I'm excited to try something new and actually be nice to people and meet some best friends like mine from highschool. I'm excited to leave Aston Gardens for the last time. I will never be going back there, especially after this summer. It was fun though.
So let's count the number of beach days I had- 5?
How about this crazy workout plan I created? that failed.
Saving money? I actually owe my mom more than when I got home because I spent so much in Europe. But whatever. It was all worth it.
I wouldn't do anything different. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 29th, 2005|07:37 pm] |
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Every day runs into every nite. I wake up hungover and feeling gross and go to work. On break I come home for a shower/nap and go back to work. After work I am finally starting to feel good again and the drinking begins. I need to start running again. And eating green foods. And not blaming it on the fact that "it's summer!" because it's been summer for months and I haven't saved any money or improved anything in my life. It's fun though. It's fun to do whatever and not care about things, but I can feel it's going to catch up to me soon. If it already hasn't. I feel like such a bitch rite now. |
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| Let the rain come down!! |
[Jul. 23rd, 2005|02:41 pm] |
Sex on the Beach/Laguna Beach party at my house!!
Monday, June 25- show starts at 10, drinking starts whenever!! =)
Dress cute! |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 17th, 2005|06:05 pm] |
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This summer is just plain Crazy! |
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